Vertigo Leg 1: 2005, US

Aug
16
2009

'Hotel Eye-Wateringly Expensive'

34
16 August 2009
'Hotel Eye-Wateringly Expensive'
London. Day off.

It's been a day off and I actually managed to get out and sit in the sunshine for a while. I headed down to St James Park, where you can rent a deck chair for £1.50 and sit by the lake. Today there was even a brass band playing in the band stand which gave the whole place an ever greater air of Victoriana than usual. Whenever I wander round the St. James's area of London, I always feel like I've fallen into the missing scene from The Forsyte Saga and today took that feeling all the way.

Rounded the afternoon off with an early dinner at The Wolseley, a fine restaurant housed in a former car showroom on Piccadilly. Afterwards I strolled back to the Hotel Fabulous in the last of the evening sunshine, where I discovered I had made a terrible mistake. Today's hotel is not just Fabulous, it's actually the Hotel Very Fabulous Indeed a.k.a. the Hotel Eye-Wateringly Expensive. Seasoned users can usually successfully navigate around the expensive bits though, and enjoy a few days of Fabulousness without breaking the bank.

Today though I blew it. When having a bit of a sort out yesterday I had stuffed a load of laundry into one of the hotel laundry bags with a view to taking it home to wash tomorrow. However, it seems that I had inadvertently left the laundry bag on the end of the bed rather than sticking it in my suitcase out of sight. When I came back into my room, I was surprised to see a smaller wicket basket on the bed, containing a great deal of tissue paper, topped with lavender bags. At first I assumed that this had been mis-delivered. Clearly some other sucker had opted to have their laundry done at the hotel, no doubt hand soaked by Tibetan virgins then gently aired dry by the flapping of dragonfly wings, at a cost for which you could have comfortably bought yourself a whole new wardrobe. Including the wardrobe.

Just to make sure, I lifted up the tissue paper and my stomach dropped when I saw some very familiar looking underwear. Deeper in the basket was a shirt of mine and so I knew I was in deep trouble. My first instinct was to call the manager and complain that my clothes had been stolen and washed without my consent but having left them in my hotel room in a hotel laundry bag, I could see I had no defence. I had made a touring faux pas that any rookie would be ashamed of and will (literally) have to pay the price.

My only comfort came from realising that I hadn't put that many items into the laundry bag - it could have been a very great deal worse. I tried to find joy in seeing my clothes utterly born again - shirts in cardboard, everything ironed and folded like new, scent of lavender, etc., but it was a hard pleasure to muster.

Perhaps to heal my hurt we should have a readers' contest to guess what the total laundry bill will be? How much do you think it will have cost to have laundered at London's Hotel Very Fabulous Indeed the following: Four pairs of Macy's short socks, three pairs of M&S underwear, two Gap t-shirts, a short-sleeved linen shirt and a long sleeved cotton shirt. Winner gets... oh, I don’t know, a clean pair of socks or something.


Monday 17th August 2009. London. Day off.

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COMMENTS

34
latkin
10 September, 2009
Willie - you got had
Whatever you paid was a rip off but I'm guessing you didn't get much change from £100. Glad to see you don't have any fabulous underwear and you've gone for M&S though.
trinx
10 September, 2009
trinx
LOL! Hm... 190 pounds. :D
crisbaj
10 September, 2009
Hmmm... 122 in USDollars?
Willie, Sad story, brother. I say $122 USD, whatever that is in UK pounds... Bet the lavender scent got a few raised eyebrows frmo your regular crew... best regards, crisbaj crisbaj@yahoo.com
gloria002
09 September, 2009
The Bill
auch!! Looks like you have received quite a few guesses. I'll say about 100 pound. so how much was the bill?
Tardy
08 September, 2009
Fab Laundry
200 pounds. Taking a chance.
Ruben Tapia
08 September, 2009
My Guess
$250! Can I opt for the underwear??....Calm down; only kidding!
chrislondon
08 September, 2009
That is so funny :D
Hmm, let me guess: Four pairs of Macy's short socks = 24GBP three pairs of M&S underwear = 18GBP two Gap t-shirts = 20GBP a short-sleeved linen shirt = 20GBP and a long sleeved cotton shirt = 20GBP Makes: 102GBP But hey Willie, this can happen to everyone, and be glad now you can say you increased the value of your clothing quite a bit, however now it is harder to justify for them to be thrown away when worn out, you should donate them ;)
md009
08 September, 2009
$cent of lavender
65 pounds
hmbax
08 September, 2009
hotel very fabulous' laundry bill
With the lavender scent, I'd say 125 English pounds. Had it been rose scented...there is no telling! H
norwaylad
08 September, 2009
Groundskeeper willie
It sounds too me like you may have a little Scotch in you!!! My god man , one day you are writing about St Paul de Vence and all its glory , the next complaining about your laundry bill - you work for The biggest Rock Band in the world , if your laundry bills are knocking you back, you need a raise . I would say your bill was about 70 quid not including service charge. Hope you left a tip.
Terezam
08 September, 2009
Willies Woolies
Im going to go totally over the top and say £340 Truth is stranger than fiction and all thats...
wtonis
08 September, 2009
laundry cost
I top it off at 75 Pounds.
Salesguy
08 September, 2009
John
Hmm. London, top line hotel.....4 pairs of socks about £10; 3 pairs of underwear £13.50; 2 t-shirts £10; 2 shirts £25. Total of £58.50!!
sabadell
08 September, 2009
sabadell
117 pounds
JoyceP
08 September, 2009
Laundry Bill
Willie, I have no idea but what about a ridiculous £150?! At least they didn't launder your lovely white cat!
Pearls
08 September, 2009
Willie's laundry bill
I would say Willie's laundry bill was 210 pounds. Unfortunately, something similar happened to me when I was in Paris, four years ago. My two children ages 11 and 8 were with me and I decided to have their underwear ( 6 pair each) and 6 shirts/tops laundered plus 2 pair of pants and 2 pair of shorts. It cost 135 euros or $189.00 American dollars! I could have bought each child new clothes instead of a laundry bill !!!!! Definitley, I learned the hard way to say no to hotel laundry shops.
andersk
08 September, 2009
My guess:
45 pounds!
MeekerMan
08 September, 2009
Laundry Bill
Did the lavender sachets have a hint of smelling salts in them to revive you when the bill came? In any case I will guess 75 pounds. I hope, for your sake, I guessed too high.
purplereign
08 September, 2009
Willies Washing Wobbles
hmmmm . . . hows 107.60 in Euro (can't find the symbol for that little gem on mah putah) . . . hilarious Willie, thanks for the giggle :)
hibricc
08 September, 2009
yowza!
Hmmm, how about 88 pounds?
rob lettice
08 September, 2009
shirts as white as snow!?
i reckon....180 quid? and when do we find out!?
bethyjane
08 September, 2009
Willie's laundry
So did it ring up to 50.00? I'm sorry! I absolutely hate getting gouged when traveling! If you need your laundry done in Chicago, let me know. I'll be glad to do it for you. I promise NOT to make fun of your underwear or hold them ransom! See you in a few days!
JILLY1
08 September, 2009
Willies laundry
For an expensive hotel in London - let's say about £55 !
ivdf
08 September, 2009
The Bill
Willie, what about 99GBP??? On a side note, your tour diaries are too funny, you always make my day, mate! See you next year in Madrid...
Jimbob74
08 September, 2009
Willie's Washing
£89
martinjharan
08 September, 2009
hotel fab
If you stayed in the bands hotel in london, and I think I know which one. ( Im that sad!!! ) A meal for two could cost around £150 + a head so, with that in mind I would not be surprised if it cost that to get ya knickers washed there as well lol lol So Willie £150 for the wash and a smell of lavender. Be you smelt nice ha ha
mojomom
08 September, 2009
Freebie
As expensive as it was, I bet you'll need another few loads washed by the time y'all hit Atlanta... I'll be happy to wash, dry, fold and return your dirty drawers for FREE, but I am not a Tibetan virgin...and I use Gain, not lavender. But it'll be clean!! LOL Have a great kick off for the North American tour and I'll see you on 10/6!
dianep
08 September, 2009
Willie's laundry competition
£ 148.27. I would have said at least £ 250 but no doubt the workers are only paid a pittance anyway. But dig that lavender while it lasts ... I'm hoping we'll hear your thoughts on Cardiff. It was amazing for us. What was it like for you?
suffusion
08 September, 2009
Nick
I'm guessing 85 pounds?
fandyboy
08 September, 2009
Oh dear..
Willie, Willie, Willie, what were you thinking!? I reckon you paid, in rip-off London, 164 English Pounds. You could probably buy a washing machine for that.
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